The Day Before Christmas Eve -
Wasn't planning to sleep that day, planned to meet up with Xiaoboy and Jiali at 12am but fell asleep on 9am plus, lol. Woke up 3pm plus and made my way to Somerset 313 to meet up with Jiali and he friend Siewhui. We went there to shop for presents, walked around but ended up empty handed because we couldn't find anything that we wanted. Swapped to Orchard Central, my first time there too. Saw many things that i wanted but i dont have the money to buy everything that i wanted, so yah.. Walked around and saw something that i think i can buy for as a present for her. Bought it and was thinking what should i put inside to make it more meaningful. Thought of an idea, so we went to this shop that is somehow like popular to buy some pen and coloured paper. Sometime later, Xiaoboy came. Left the place and smoked at the entrance of Orchard Central. Looking opposite of the Orchard Central and saw something like a lighted Christmas tree, with all the lights and lanterns on the trees surrounded and the Christmas music from the opposite shopping centre, made me suddenly so emo. I looked and got into a daze, thinking of so many things. Thinking of how i wished she were here. Thought of the many Christmas i had in my early teenage years, all the things that had happened before. I really like the Christmas atmosphere. After that Siewhui went back Sengkang - Jiali, Xiaoboy and me took the train to Plaza Singapura for our dinner at Swensens. I ate Chicken Baked Rice and i never got sicked of it :D After our dinner, went to the Zone-X arcade in the Dhoby Ghaut Mrt for 2 games of Jubeat and went back home later.

Christmas Eve -
Woke up around 1pm plus that day, if i never remembered wrongly. Called Felix and Xiaoboy to wake up that day. Met up around 4pm or 5pm plus with Xiaoboy and made our way to Kovan to meet Felix and his girlfriend Qianyi. Played number ball and soon Marcus came. Went Heartland Mall to buy something to finished up my Christmas present for her. Meet up with Joey and Sheryl or whatever her name is spelled as, lol. Then down for dinner at the coffee shop downstairs, i didnt ate anything because i was anxiously waiting for her text reply. Then we were discussing where to go, Xiaoboy kept asking us to go Powerhouse. Damm you Xiaoboy, I JUST DONT WANNA GO POWERHOUSE! :/ So, thought of going Punggol Marina, although i really admit that it's kinda boring but it's who you are going with. But in the end it ended up that she will not be going. So, at that time my mood is totally crushed, got so moodless and decided to just follow the crowd. Felix went home to change with Qianyi and Xiaoboy,Marcus and me went back to Superbowl for a round of billiard again. Seriously, damm this Christmas Eve, spending our time playing freaking small balls. 10pm plus - Xiaoboy left for Powerhouse and Marcus and i sat at the bowling centre of Superbowl, thoughts came running to my mind, because i had plans today but it is all gone. Waited for Felix to get ready and made our way to the pub at Yio Chu Kang named EightyEight. Waited for Tiffany,Shanqi and Josef and all of us went in. Table 1 - Josef,Shanqi and Tiffany and Table 2 - Felix, Qianyi, Marcus and me. Tiffany's father treated us with Martell, due to we were friends of her daughter. So, the game has started. Drank half a cup and slowly i kept finding people to 'tar' with me - Felix, Marcus, Josef, Shanqi and including Tiffany's father and Tiffany's uncle. Kept 1 shot drinking all, 1 cup after another - like nobody's business. Really was in a bad mood, after the martell left like 1/10 of it i got so drunked and fucked up, suddenly i felt the urge to vomit. Omg, i faster went out of the pub and walked a distance like a drunkard arsehole. Sat down on a ledge and vomitted non stop. I didnt ate a single shet that day and kept vomitting liquids. This is the first time of my entire life getting so drunk, i swear and it isnt comfortable at all. I kept vomitting until i felt like killing myself. After vomitting i got so upset and squatted there, i got so emotional break down that i cried and fell down followed by lying on the floor. At that moment of time i really dont wanna get up, i really cant control my tears and they kept flowing. Soon, Marcus came because i heard his anxious voice asking me what happened and helped me up and got me sitting on the ledge again. The constant asking me to get back to the pub because he was worried about me really made me kinda touched. But i really cant move, because i kept feeling like vomitting, i cant go in because i will still vomit anytime. And i cant control myself and cried and cried like a fucking big baby. I really hated myself doing that, but i really cant control. Marcus kept trying to pull me up and wanted me to get back to the pub, but insist on staying there, then he went in and came out few minutes later. He kept doing that and for a few times- Felix, Shanqi and i dont know who else came out too. But i knew Marcus came out the most to try to persuade me in but i kept saying no. I think for almost 1 hour i was outside alone, vomitting and crying until i got so exhausted that i just sat there and stare at the floor. My head was spinning and it hurt like fuck. 2am and the pub is closing, everyone came out and soon Xiaoboy took cab to the place where we were. He too was so freaking drunk, it was kinda funny to see someone drunk sometimes, lol. Took cab back home with Xiaoboy, while in the cab, i cant control myself and texted her asking where is she and asked her whether she wanna come find me. Reached home around 3am plus, head still spinning, eye lits seems to be so heavy, almost falling asleep but remembered that she is on her way and told myself that i cant fall asleep yet. Felix came and she reached my house around 4am plus with Jiali, Weikian and Pauline. Alone with her in my room and the rest in the living room and i dont know why. Still thinking whether i should still pass her the present a not, in the end i still passed her the present that i wanted to give her. she opened and beneath there was a note that i had never had the courage or confidence to tell her. But seeing her look and no answer from her, i know thats the end. We never talked about it and i didnt wanted to. Because i planned to do whatever i wanted to do, but not in this situation, not like this and not after i have cried so much and my head hurting like so shet. She, Jiali, Pauline and Weikian stayed at my house till 7 or 8am plus and all of them went back home. After they all went home, i got so many thoughts and doubts that is so unclear to me now. And i know all this cant carry on like this, maybe everything isnt meant to be.

What a Christmas Eve, that i will not forget for the rest of my life. I honestly, speaking from the bottom of my heart that this is the worst Christmas Eve - that i have ever ever ever gone through.

Christmas -
Woke up around 3pm or 4pm plus with Headaches. Met up soon with Xiaoboy, Joey, Felix, Qianyi, Marcus and Jiali. Went Rivervale Plaza for our dinner, then went to the back of Macdonald's to sit for awhile and made our way to Kovan to play billiard again. I got to a concusion that our Christmas Eve and Christmas were spent at Kovan playing billiard and number ball. DAMM THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND CHRISTMAS, it is so unforgettable spent and at the same time totally miserable. Played number ball till 12am and took cab home, after that everyone except Xiaoboy and Joey went up my house, cant play mahjong today because my Big brother is staying overnight at my house tonight so - Felix, Qianyi, Jiali and i played Donkey Donkey and soon Felix and Qianyi went off. Ordered Macdonald's as supper x_x, Felix came back to fetched Jiali and Marcus home and thats it for Christmas.


I SERIOUSLY WILL NEVER FORGET 2009'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND CHRISTMAS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. WASNT ANY HAPPY FOR ME AT ALL THIS YEAR. 2010, PLEASE FASTER COME AND BRING ME A BETTER YEAR PLEASE, I BEG YOU X_X




Okay, this post is so freaking essay long. Confirm 101% guaranteed more than 500 words that i have to write for my school's essay and it took me like 1 hour plus close to 2 hours to type everything and i have smoked like 8 - 10 sticks already. ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, IT'S FREAKING 7.30AM NOW, GONNA CATCH SOME SLEEP. MAYBE, going to sing k later with Marcus and no idea who else is going. PEACE EVERYONE! :D