It's been almost a year since i last blogged. Well, so many things happened for this past 1 year. Dad unexpectly passed away in an accident on 26th December 2010. Till now, from time to time, i still think of my Dad and of course i do, i don't know what I'm talking. Ever since Dad's not around anymore, tho life still got to move on but it is getting harder for my mum and i. So much to pay, not enough to spend. Well, Dad had been the strong support for the family. Now my mum and i gotta support ourselves already. Speaking of dad, i haven't visit my dad for some time, should do it real soon, since i gotta enlist for NS soon too, will have less time to do things in the future.

Played back Maple about 2-3 weeks ago. Cant get myself to stop the addiction of playing MMORPG games man, LOL. It has been a childhood addiction ever since the start of my gaming life - 11 years old.

Last year, i was taking my O's. Well, 3 words to describe that - I have failed. I not only failed my parents but myself too. All the changes i want to make to my life when i was released from RTC was such a bullshyt, thinking about it now. I promised my family and myself so much, yet in the end in my 2nd year studying for O's and also the actual O levels i drifted from it. On the actual O's i took my English and Economics Paper i think, i forgotten already. For the other papers
like - Combined Science, A Math and E Math, i gave up and didn't went for the paper. Math was my favourite subject and i didn't even went for it. I hate myself for doing it, for not studying even when i had this precious chance, i didn't cherish it. Threw everything away like that, stupid me.

I REALLY DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY MY DAD. Pa, I'm really sorry, you paid so much for my school fees, pinning in all your hopes on me, hoping that i would finally make something out of my life, but i still failed you. I'm sorry dad, i really am. I ask for your forgiveness, although i cannot hear it from you anymore but i know you dote and love me the most, because I'm your only son, you forgive and forgave all the wrongdoings i had or have done.
Pa, so much i want to tell you. So many things i want to do with you. So many things we have not done, so many things you haven't see. You haven't attend my wedding, haven't carry your grandson or daughter yet. We haven't played bowling together for so long, we haven't really went to the movies together. I miss you dad. I cant help it but tears flow down uncontrollably. For my past 21 years of my life, i have done nothing good, i have made so many empty promises to you Dad, i made you cry so many times but i want to change that during and after my NS.
I WANT YOU TO BE PROUD OF ME because i know when you are still around, i have
NEVER done anything to make you proud of. I'm sorry, i really am. I know no matter how many SORRY(s) i say, nothing would change, you won't be able come back to us anymore. I really don't know why is god so unfair, to let such a good man, such a good father to leave this world. PA, I LOVE YOU. I have never in my 21 years told you that, i really do. SO MUCH TO SAY SO MUCH TO DO to and with you, pa.. pa.. I'm lost, in the past i still have you to back me up, clean up my mess, i have to do all of this now myself, i know i have to be strong, it's time to grow up.. but i wish you would be around. You are my true IDOL, i want to grow up and be like you. A everyone-respected man and a good father.