You are my friend for so long already, you should fucking know what i hate the most is people last minute put me aeroplane. I'm so disappointed, i can tolerated to wait for you for hours, but not telling me to give you 2 hrs, in the end you tell me you dont wanna go already. Although i replied your text as if i dont mind or as if i dont care but actually i'm disappointed, you just offically spoil my day, TYVM.

It has been some time ever since i lost my wallet, i haven't made a replacement for my IC. Omfg, but i'm like broke now, cant fork out $100 to replace it plus i dont want my mum to know about it, she has more things to worry already, hais hais x_x

GG, today so many daiji. Evening sam-ing that time got problem with Guildless people. Wtf, they are fcking childish. A little bit a little bit whine like a little bitch. Call level 200 Aran come ks us, kp us. NOOBS. At night, this female Nightlord 19x, say want to aim me already, cause i keep down ah ma and sam, she's talking like all the SAM and AHMA is hers. Wtf has this world become man, gamers should take care of each other, not kpkb and act like a small kid. Shame on you guys.

5.25am now, yawnssssss! Alright! off to beddy! (:

It's been almost a year since i last blogged. Well, so many things happened for this past 1 year. Dad unexpectly passed away in an accident on 26th December 2010. Till now, from time to time, i still think of my Dad and of course i do, i don't know what I'm talking. Ever since Dad's not around anymore, tho life still got to move on but it is getting harder for my mum and i. So much to pay, not enough to spend. Well, Dad had been the strong support for the family. Now my mum and i gotta support ourselves already. Speaking of dad, i haven't visit my dad for some time, should do it real soon, since i gotta enlist for NS soon too, will have less time to do things in the future.

Played back Maple about 2-3 weeks ago. Cant get myself to stop the addiction of playing MMORPG games man, LOL. It has been a childhood addiction ever since the start of my gaming life - 11 years old.

Last year, i was taking my O's. Well, 3 words to describe that - I have failed. I not only failed my parents but myself too. All the changes i want to make to my life when i was released from RTC was such a bullshyt, thinking about it now. I promised my family and myself so much, yet in the end in my 2nd year studying for O's and also the actual O levels i drifted from it. On the actual O's i took my English and Economics Paper i think, i forgotten already. For the other papers
like - Combined Science, A Math and E Math, i gave up and didn't went for the paper. Math was my favourite subject and i didn't even went for it. I hate myself for doing it, for not studying even when i had this precious chance, i didn't cherish it. Threw everything away like that, stupid me.

I REALLY DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY MY DAD. Pa, I'm really sorry, you paid so much for my school fees, pinning in all your hopes on me, hoping that i would finally make something out of my life, but i still failed you. I'm sorry dad, i really am. I ask for your forgiveness, although i cannot hear it from you anymore but i know you dote and love me the most, because I'm your only son, you forgive and forgave all the wrongdoings i had or have done.
Pa, so much i want to tell you. So many things i want to do with you. So many things we have not done, so many things you haven't see. You haven't attend my wedding, haven't carry your grandson or daughter yet. We haven't played bowling together for so long, we haven't really went to the movies together. I miss you dad. I cant help it but tears flow down uncontrollably. For my past 21 years of my life, i have done nothing good, i have made so many empty promises to you Dad, i made you cry so many times but i want to change that during and after my NS.
I WANT YOU TO BE PROUD OF ME because i know when you are still around, i have
NEVER done anything to make you proud of. I'm sorry, i really am. I know no matter how many SORRY(s) i say, nothing would change, you won't be able come back to us anymore. I really don't know why is god so unfair, to let such a good man, such a good father to leave this world. PA, I LOVE YOU. I have never in my 21 years told you that, i really do. SO MUCH TO SAY SO MUCH TO DO to and with you, pa.. pa.. I'm lost, in the past i still have you to back me up, clean up my mess, i have to do all of this now myself, i know i have to be strong, it's time to grow up.. but i wish you would be around. You are my true IDOL, i want to grow up and be like you. A everyone-respected man and a good father.

I find that humans are realistic, true friends dont exist. It's always back to square one, back to only me. Maybe everyone hates me, i dont care. I think one day i will grow up thinking that being alone is all that matters more anything else. People forgot me, do i care? I do, but i dont say it out. Friends come and go, friends used to be the number one in my life, but no longer it is, no one bothers, so why should i? I really hate my life but what can i do? Life still gotta move on, no matter what happens. I see people always saying FML - but if they were compare to mine, their lives are way much better.
But sometimes i also do think that people got their own lives, but dont everyone have 1 or 2 friends that they always can hang out with? I'm jealous, why dont i have 1 or 2 such friends? Everytime when i'm bored, when i wanna find someone to talk to, when i wanna leave my DAMM HOUSE and find somewhere to have fun, i couldn't find anyone. Everyone's working or doing whatever they are doing. I'm rotting at home HOPING for god sake that someone would call me and ask me out. Once in awhile that happens and i'm always so happy.
Or is it because of my character that no one likes, but i dont understand, i dont find myself to the point that someone would hate me. I dont know.. As time goes by, if everyone starts to forget me, i think i will reach the point of not contacting anyone anymore, just be alone. No point, always make myself so sad that no one seems to remember me, why not just forget about everyone and just be alone.
So to the people out there, if you have at least 1 or 2 friend that you can always talk to and hang out with, stop fucking say FML because you dont understand how fucked someone else life could be, like mine.

Today i woke up early, but i keep slowly take my time at home until i was late for my first lesson then i was thinking - Aiya, wtf.. Dont go for the first lesson sua, LOL. Took cab to school for my 2nd lesson - E Math. 1 hour and the school ended, LOL. Then shared cab with Yongjun to Tampines to look for Ah qi. Accompanied her at her shop, 5pm plus Pearlyn came and keep complaining that Ah qi 'cheated' her down saying that she was sad and needed accompany but in fact it was to dig Pearlyn out from all her school's project to come out with us. Closed shop at around 6pm plus, then 3 of us went over to Wen Rui's house to met up with him then made our way to one of the Bedok's k, i kept forgetting the name of it, Cash something =.= Pearlyn had really nice vocals, Ah qi didnt lie to me, THE NEXT SINGAPORE IDOL! :) So, we sang all the way till 10pm then grab something to eat at the opposite coffeeshop. Took cab to Tampines Safra, played 2 games of billiard with Wenrui and 2 games of pool with Ah qi and Wenrui. Was damm funny, i laughed until my jaws and cheeks became numb already.

I seriously had a lot of fun today, dont think i will have so much fun for quite some time. Pearlyn has lots of projects to do, i think the next meet up with her will be like after damm long, lol. Well, but i still appreciate all the fun and laughter they brought to me today, CHEERS TO THE 3 OF YOU! :)

MAROON, MARINE, LOLLOLLOLLOL, omg, joke of my day, LOL!

Morning, it was so kind of Becca's father to longbang me to school. THANKS UNCLE :D
Then reached school and went for my first lesson - English
Once i went in the class the teacher was discussing about this community service project on this early June. Then E Math followed by the afternoon class A Math. Today during lunch break, Yongjun freaking pangseh me to go have lunch with his friend and because i dont wanna go have lunch today, i slept at the cafe's sofa all by myself, like wth. After school, actually i wanted to go watch IP MAN 2 myself, but contacted Ah qi and met up with her at the ICA building, she was renewing her passport there, then off to Tampines to fetch her little cousin, 3 of us went to watched Iron Man 2 in the end, at Tampines Mall. After movies, we went to the arcade, Ah qi's cousin - Zhen jie was playing some game at the arcade the needed cards to play, those animal fight animal game, LOL.. Wth, i dont know what the name of the game is. Time passes fast and it's already 9pm plus, went to have our dinner at Macdonalds' then home sweet home.
It feels good to hang out with old friends again, it's like having the 'last time' feeling again. The few years back when i was still a 15-16 year old kid feeling. Good to know that i still have a friend that i knew for years, i dont have many left. Some graduated from Secondary school when i was in RTC and moved on, some serving the NS and many more that got their own lives now. Well, i guess TRUE LASTING friends are hard to find.
TOMORROW IT'S A TUESDAY, omfg.. I freaking love Tuesday because i'm ending school at 1pm! Going to Ah qi's shop to accompany her tomorrow then around evening going for k with her and maybe Wenrui.
I really enjoyed today very much.
ALRIGHTY, off to bath then sleep. TOMORROW'S gonna be a better day! :)

LOL, this blog has rot for 1 month plus.. Because i'm superrrrrrrrrrr lazyyyyyyy to update. Hmm, BUT i will try my best to update. Let's see how uh :D
Well, i can't believe i stayed home for straight 3 days already. This is so fucking sad, because i seemed to be alone now. Great, wtf i dont care. Friends only remember you when they got no where to go, no one to find, when you are the last freaking person then they contact you. Okayokay, maybe this don't apply to everyone of you. But this is happening to me, good. As time passes by i see through people's mask, this is how they treat friends who they once can say this and that, BROTHERS. Pui, i feel sick of this word now. I dont give a fuck being alone, i can be used to it like i once got used to it.
So, whoever thinks i'm just someone who you will think of when you got no choice becauses there's no one to find anymore, just fuck off.

Morning, took cab to school with Becca and we were late by 10 minutes.
But, it's the freaking first time the cab fare so cheap - $12 plus
Usually the cheapest is at least $18 - $19, cheers for the driving skills of the taxi uncle :D
Reached school and went up class for my first major paper of the week - English.
Sigh sigh, i didn't study at all. At this pace i'm going, if i still continue to have this kind of attitude towards my studies, i can prepare to fail my O levels already.
BUCK UP! BUCK UP! I have to buck up already, seriously.
School ended at 3.15pm today, was raining and my feeling became moody again.
Actually i planned to go catch a movie alone today, but ended up playing mahjong at Angelina's house today with her cousin and Yongjun. I swear, Angelina's cousin is damm funny. Damm, i can't help but keep smiling and laughing, lol. A guy with a great sense of humour, reminds me of how my cousins and i used to get along like Angelina and her cousin.
Really was really fun, but that was the past already. Now all my cousins already grown up, 2 of my cousins is already married, with children of their own. The rest of them, got their own life now. Sigh, i really miss those days.. When i was like 12 and they were still in their early 20s, still teenagers, now all grown up, all those teenagers fun has long disappear from their mind completely.
Gonna go watch - BEING HUMAN with Angelina tomorrow.
Off to bed now, good night peeps :)

Seems like a long time since i last post.
Days after untagging is like of not much difference seriously..
Still as bored, bored bored.
True friends are hard to come by, no one seemed to be real around me.
After so much of staying at home nowadays, gave me the feeling when i was a kid - LONELINESS.
I hated this feeling so much, but i have to get used to it, i have to i have to.
I'm feeling so emo right now, i cant bring myself to do anything.
Friends come friends leave, there's never a true long lasting friendship i ever had.
People wears mask and acts as if they were saint but deep in they are all just BULLSHIT.
Posting all my random thoughts now, aint making me feel any better.
Maybe i'm gonna go watch movie alone tomorrow like i used to.
Fuck this world, my life and everything.
Gonna go sleep now and shut down all my thoughts.

OMG, i cannot not post todayyyyyyyyyyy! :D
Because,
MY TAGGING IS CONFIRMED AND GONNA BE REMOVED ON THE 5TH OF MARCH!
Omgomg, after 1 year of shit timing of going home. I'm gonna get back my freedom in 7 days time, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! :D
Freaking freaking happy happy :D
Can't stop typing this face out :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
7 days more, come on.. GO GO GO..
7 days more and i'm gonna hear..
BENJAMIN TAN JIN KAI, you are offically released from your fucking tagging. GO HOME ANYTIME YOU WANT NOW, NOBODY WILL HUANLO YOU ANYMORE, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..

Okayokay, gonna go sleep now. Although excited but i have to control or else my heart anytime might just burst out from super duper excess excitement :D
This is one of the best 2010 gift for me! :]
GOOD NIGHT PEEPS! :D